Written by Kirk
Cell Press — Cages
> Grindcore/noise rock/sludge metal
> Quebec, Canada
> Released March 8
> The Ghost is Clear Records/Ancient Temple Recordings/No List Records
(Scene opens)
(You are in a dimly-lit dive bar as you fumble your way into the men’s room, the hinges squeaking loudly in spite of the band blasting away on stage. As your eyes adjust to the change in lighting, you see a guy snorting something off the sink before catching your reflection in the mirror and spinning around to face you, a weird grin on his face.)
HIM: Hey, man! This your first time coming here?
YOU: (visibly nervous as you watch this stranger’s eyes start to dilate) Uh, yeah. Been a fan of this band for a little while but haven’t been able to see them live till tonight.
(A brief pause)
What about you?
HIM: Oh, yeah, I come here all the time! This place gets all the great grind shows.
(He shifts nervously as his face crinkles in thought)
Hey, you like KEN Mode?
YOU: (somewhat relieved) Hell yeah! They rock! Been a fan for forever.
HIM: (fumbles in his pocket for a minute) Sweet! Me, too! If you dig ‘em, you’ll love these guys….
(Pulls a scuffed cassette jewel case out of his pocket)
You ever hear of Cell Press? They’re pretty new, but if you like KEN mode, you’re gonna love ‘em!
YOU: (no longer weirded out by this bizarre encounter and graciously accept the stranger’s tape) Whoa, thanks, man! Rock on!
(Scene ends)
Okay, the scene described above is likely something that wouldn’t happen in a million years, but it might! If there’s one thing almost all metalheads have in common, it’s the ability to bond over their shared love of a band. How many times have you been out and about, seen someone wearing a metal band’s shirt or sporting a tattoo of one of your favorite bands, and you locked eyes with that stranger and exchanged horns? It’s happened to me more times than I can count, and I’m sure it’s happened to you, too. And let’s be honest, it’s harder than hell to find new heavy music on the radio (that’s a conversation in and of itself), so reaching out to and bonding with your local metalheads is as important now as it ever was.
That’s why I’m gonna tell you about the debut album from Montreal’s Cell Press, an absolute juggernaut of a noise rock/sludgecore band. If you missed out on their self-titled debut EP, fear not! …So did I, but such is the glory of having a plethora of music literally at our fingertips. Even if you don’t know exactly what you want to listen to, the choices are literally endless. Regardless of what streaming service you prefer, chances are finding their debut EP won’t be a challenge. And if you have the stomach for it, find their split with Anthesis, Botfly, Clouds Become Oceans, and Greber. It’s wild.
Cages is nothing if not pure sonic chaos distilled into a surprisingly palatable if not refreshing listening experience. It opens with “Adult Baptisms” and hits you with as much force as the cops taking an Enforcer to the door of the wrong person’s apartment, knocking out at least two of your teeth and bruising your sternum. A blistering meditation on the zealous way some people buy into the lies sold by the media to influence our thoughts and opinions, it perfectly encapsulates what it feels like to be constantly tasked to dig through the mud to find the truth and then to fight for your life to defend it. In short, for an opening track, this one is absolutely brutal.
Slowing things down a little (but not too much) is “Kissed by a Morose on Mount Royal”, taking the raw fury of “Adult Baptisms” and turning it into a vortex of anxiety, making it hard to think or focus on exactly what you’re listening to. Shifting further away from the chaotic grindcore energy is “Original Uranium Baby”, the album’s second single and most focused song so far, relying less on speed and strength and more on pummeling you relentlessly with drums and bass like a tidal wave slowly eroding away a concrete wall. By the time you get to the little drum solo at the end, you’ll feel like your eardrums are bleeding. Then things get nice and sludgy with “Dark Side of the North”; I don’t know what guitarist Sean Arsenian did to make his guitar sound like that, but I do know I want to hear more of it. Lots more.
Which is good, because things get nice and filthy with “JOI to the World”, only now it’s the bass making me feel like I need to take a hot shower. Delicately balanced between noise rock and sludge metal, this one will have you wrinkling your nose up in utter disdain for how good it is. “Disco Naps on the Devil’s Bedpost” then bursts forth amidst a rumbling of bass, guitar, and drums crouched low like a hunter stalking its prey, waiting for the right moment to pounce. It lurks just outside of your field of vision before, at long last, it strikes—slowly, but deliberately. “Blue Royale” is a bit of an oddity, a mixture of noise, effects, and off-kilter sounds that will throw you off balance while simultaneously giving you a chance to catch your breath.
And then we leap once more into the fray with “Recoil (A Collective Behaviour of Violence)”. In a mere three minutes and fifty-one seconds, it perfectly sums up decades of anger, frustration, and sadness that is the American experience with gun culture, mass murder, and the endless struggle to find balance with this country’s love of firearms and all weapons of destruction as vocalists PQ and Sean Arsenian repeatedly shout, “Only the strong survive!”, until it sounds like their throats will catch fire. Finally, closing things out is “Things They Do in France”, a perfect blend of Cell Press’s diverse sound in a song that pines for love lost over what could have been had things not been so toxic.
THE BOTTOM LINE
Look, I don’t know how you discover new music, but I’m guessing it’s not from tapes handed to you by strangers doing cocaine in the bathroom (not that there’s anything wrong with that). Fortunately, you have those of us here at Noob Heavy with excellent taste and fingers on the pulse of the underground. Personally, I find myself gravitating more and more towards things that are atonal, dissonant, and just downright noisy. That being said, it also never hurts to keep your mind and ears open. Stay curious and don’t shy away from trying new things. Sadly, it just gets harder and harder to discover new music without all these algorithms trying to force feed you the results of their datamining. Yeah, sometimes they’re spot on, but nothing will beat having someone you know or trust recommend something they think you’ll like. And I really think you’ll like Cages. As far as debut albums go, this one will be tough to beat.