Slam metal – invented (probably) when a grindcore band thought ‘let’s add some brutally quick death metal to this, making sure to go over the top on blast beats‘. All joking aside, the genre – which exists on the very extreme end of the metal spectrum – has a fervent following that can’t get enough of the squealing guitars and vocals so guttural the word ‘disgusting’ becomes a compliment. However, as is universally known, metal is often a very silly music, and Scottish loons PARTY CANNON are slam’s undisputed court jesters. Where most bands have logos so unreadable that even black metal thinks ‘that’s a bit much‘, PARTY CANNON go for balloon writing; their songs have titles like There’s A Reason You’re Single from the album Bong Hit Hospitalisation and I Believe In Dani Filth off the charmingly named Volumes Of Vomit, and live shows often feature inflatables in all shapes and sizes. Which leads us to Injuries Are Inevitable, the band’s third full record out now via Unique Leader Records.
If you’re a fan of PARTY CANNON already, you’ll be pleased to hear that they haven’t changed in the slightest – if you’re not, your opinion won’t shift either. Injuries Are Inevitable is ten tracks of utter madness with an unbelievable kicker: it’s technically a concept album, the songs all centred around Action Park, a New Jersey amusement park renowned for so many safety violations it’s often cited as the world’s most unsafe theme park of all time. As such, among the breakdowns and the pinch harmonics, quotes from the 2020 Class Action Park documentary are present, like in the filthy Test The Chute where words on the unbelievable lax measures to ensure the safety of the park’s water flume ride precede a seismic breakdown.
However, for all their antics and colourful approach, PARTY CANNON are still serious musicians and, somehow, have created their best, heaviest and most morbidly curious album to date. Vocalist Tony ‘Stony’ Reddie goes so low on the likes of Weird, But Not Illegal and Alpine Spine you’d think the vibrations from his voice would cause a goddamn earthquake. Elsewhere, the double salvo of interlude 1983 into the frenetic Cannonball Loop harbours the chaos of early SLIPKNOT beautifully and the wonderfully, stupidly titled Layne Staley Went Down The Slip N’ Slide will have you two-stepping into next week. If there is one criticism, it’s that – like a lot of music in this ballpark – it can get quite samey after a while, but that comes with the territory of the style and isn’t likely to change any time soon.
PARTY CANNON will never stop producing music that, in their own words, will lower your IQ considerably, and for some that will be a big turn off. But if you like a lot of fun mixed in with your metal and have a thing for large riffs and plenty of double bass kicks, you’re in for a blast with this. Pair it with the Class Action Park documentary and a takeaway for the ultimate experience.
Rating: 7/10
Injuries Are Inevitable is out now via Unique Leader Records.
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