Deftones guitarist Stephen Carpenter hasn’t toured internationally with the band since 2022. Deftones has since recruited guitarist Lance Jackman as their live fill-in overseas, as well as Far‘s Shaun Lopez for at least a show or two on their current run.
At the time, Carpenter issued a statement saying: “As much as I would love to be on the road with my brothers, playing for all of our incredible international fans, I have decided to remain playing domestically for now. With everything going on in the world, I’m just not ready to leave home and leave the country yet. I wish I can see each and every one of you, but for now, our good friend from Sacramento, Lance, will be fulfilling my duties. Although I’m watching from afar, I’ll be there in spirit with my Deftones family.”
Now in a new interview with Rock Feed, Carpenter elaborated on his reasons for not touring abroad. Long story short, he struggles with anxiety about getting on planes as many of us do (myself included).
“I’m sure you’re aware that I haven’t traveled internationally now for awhile… It’s just simple,” said Carpenter as transcribed by The PRP. “I think, like every single one of us wrangles with getting on a plane in some way… And so for me, that anxiety, when it came around, it was was right around the time of when the pandemic started and I had already just made that decision.
“And that was because we were getting ready to go on on a trip, we were going to travel to this far-off destination, and I was like, ‘Look, you know, if I got to go all that way and then get stuck out there and then they want to jab me with something. I was like, There’s no way I’m going to do that.’ I mean, that’s crazy. And so that didn’t happen.
“I was just like my decision was simple. Like all the anxiety that I deal with when it comes to that, I was like, look, I can just put a stop to this by just not doing it anymore. And it’s like, I’m going to lose out. You know, it’s a bummer. I mean, obviously I want to go out there and I want to perform those shows and be around all the people that support us and enjoy us.
“But I’m like, It’s a decision I made for myself, and there’s people that understand, and people that don’t understand. And for all those that don’t understand, maybe one day they will, I don’t know. Maybe they never will.”
Carpenter spoke more about his anxieties and expressed his gratitude toward Deftones, who were cool about continuing on with their overseas shows without Carpenter wielding his guitars.
“I always just fell asleep before takeoff. You know, it was actually takeoff, I would wake up, but then I would go right back to sleep. I was like, ‘Alright’, and just go back to sleep. That’s the easiest way for me to handle all this… But, yeah, I just think, like I said, for me, I was like, I can either keep feeling like this forever every time I do this, or I could just stop feeling like this and just not do it.
“And like I said, it’s not easy… I’m missing out on not getting to go and enjoy something that I used to enjoy all the time, and that was a tough, tough thing to deal with. But, you know, the other thing is, in, like you said, you know about the guys [his bandmates], they got my back. But they at the same time, they would love me there too. So that’s not the easiest thing. But I’m very grateful that we have our friend Lance, who actually steps in and does all my parts of the of the music.
“And I’m just very grateful that I have that to give for the other guys so they can go, because they want to keep going. So I was like, I don’t want to get in the way of that. That’s my number one reason. My number one reason was I literally can end all that anxiety by just not doing it. That was my number one reason. Number two is, the last thing I want to do is go to any place far-off, and then they’re just going to go into lockdown because they felt like it, and I become a refugee somewhere where I can’t even get back to my house.
“I was like, at minimum, in this country. I could walk myself home if I had to. It might take a long time, but I’m gonna get there.”
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